Musings from some former inhabitants of the sprawling metropolis that is Prudhomme City

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Did You Say Beer and Food?

by CajunKate

(* FYI! This is gonna be a long, pic heavy post. Fair warning!)

So I don’t know if you guys remember or not, but I am a food-obsessed pig. Yeah. This means that when my birthday rolls around, I always try to find a unique, delicious, and expensive dining option. Late last month I stumbled across the Abita Dinner Series. This is how it came to be that Thursday, June 11, 2009, from here forward will be known as “Most Holy Abita Dinner Day.” Here’s how it went down.

Bydee and I hopped into the Vue at about 2:30 PM on Thursday. Neither of us had eaten lunch. I had purposefully done this because I am gluttonous and wanted as much room as possible in mah tummy to fill with Abita and food. But I am a loving, wonderful, and generous sister, so I stopped at McDonalds. After much debate, it was determined that we would get the meal that comes with two cheeseburgers, and I would eat one of the cheeseburgers, or as I like to call them “a most unfortunate snack.” We spent the first 30 minutes of our drive b***hing about how horrible McDonalds is. A whole 30 minutes on the topic of fast food. We are nothing if not lame.

The rest of the trip was spent talking about different topics. One topic was drinking and people who don’t drink, which included statements like this:

1. People who don’t drink, and have no logical reason for it, make me really nervous.

2. I don’t care if other people don’t drink, but don’t judge my drinking. Anyone who says something like, “Really? A drink? But it’s only ten in the morning!” will be an immediate victim of my one strike rule. They have no chance of becoming my friend…or even an acquaintance, really.

3. I’ll f**king set my alarm for 3:00 AM and drink a scotch if I f**kin’ feel like it! You can take your judgments and stick ‘em up your a** while you stare at my middle finger!

We are nothing if not classy.

When we arrived at Chez Sista and B Daigle's in NOLA, we were greeted by the AH-DORABLE Baby Zah-Zah. I don’t see how it is possible, but she gets cuter every time I see her. Bydee agrees since every time her name comes up, he yells out, “That kid is beautiful! Gerber baby! Get that kid in commercials!”

Zah-Zah in polka dots!

Michelle, Melissa’s sister, was there. Michelle is hilarious and awesome in every possible way. She cracks me up. One of my life’s dreams is to go out on the town with Michelle. I have every reason to believe it would be epic.

Burt got home about 5:30 PM, and Melissa’s parents, whom I happen to like very much because they are hilarious and have awesome accents, arrived to babysit Zah-Zah. After convincing Byron to let me iron his shirt, we all got ready and were out the door to the cab at 6:30 PM. The cab fulfilled the “responsible adult” part of the evening. We were under no delusions that we would not be drunkity-drunk-drunk by the end of the night, which fulfilled the “irresponsible adult” part of the evening. Ying and yang, people! Learn it, love it, live it!

The dinner was at Ralph’s on the Park, a very fancy-schmancy restaurant. We were led upstairs to a private dining room. This is when we all realized that we would be sitting at a table with strangers, and I had a mild panic attack. My RSS (Retard in Social Situations) disorder does not allow for eating with strangers until at least two drinks have been consumed, so that explains why I burst through the door onto the porch where the pre-dinner bar was set up, slammed my hands on the table, and yelled, “Beer! Now!” Not really. But it could have happened if Burt had not taken the lead and hustled us outside and gotten a drink into my hand within 60 seconds of arrival.

The pre-dinner beer was Abita Light. It’s not my favorite, but was def the best choice cuz, duh! No one wants to fill up on beer. The pre-dinner turned out to be my least favorite part of the night. We were all crammed out onto the tiny upper gallery. You heard me. Outside. In June. In 90 degree, 80 percent humidity weather. Me no likee. Also, there were supposed to be passed hors d’ oeuvres. There were, but the thing is they were plates with like ten items on them which were devoured by the ten people closest to the door from which the server emerged. I got one fried eggplant stick. That sucked. Eventually, I was all, “Seven o’clock yet? Inside! Inside! Sweating! No likee!” And Melissa was all, “Um, I think she needs to go inside and sit down for dinner.” So we did.

We all sat down at our lovely table.

Table setting


Our table marker read “Carter/ Diagle” :

They spelled our last name wrong and sat us with complete strangers? Unacceptable! But the Carters were not there yet. And in a true sign from above that Baby Jesus loves me, they NEVER DID! Amazing, no? We had the table to ourselves, and it was AWESOME! (Later in the night, I made a loving and beautiful toast which consisted of the statement, “I’d like to thank the Carters for not showing up! Yay!”)

Chef Chip Flanagan came out and described each of the courses to us. He was funny and charming, and I was determined to get a pic with him once I got enough liquor in me to throw my RSS out the window. Then beer was delivered for the first course, and the room lit up with a chorus of angels and divine light. Or maybe that was just me.

Anyway, the rest of the dinner went like this. YAY, BEER! Aaaaaand devour course. Repeat four times. It was magical!

Course I

Course II

Course III

Course IV

All of the courses were very good. But I think we all agreed the second was our favorite. Byron doesn’t like polenta (BLASPHEMY!) so Melissa and I got to eat his. When the waiter came by to pick up our plates for this course, I wasn’t done. I may or may not have threatened him with my dinner knife. Allegedly.

Needless to say, as the night wore on, we got more and more inebriated. Throughout the night, the next table was passing around a table member’s panama hat and taking pics of everyone wearing it. I said to Melissa in passing, “I want a picture of one of us wearing that hat.” And she was all, “Really? I’ll get it.” And I was “LOL! Nu-uh!” And then she got that SISTA! look on her face and said, “Oh, you think I won’t?!!?” and glided over to that dude and the next thing I knew, this was happening:

One of the most awesome parts of the evening was the impeccable service . Seriously. They were efficient, professional, and just so darn nice to our drunken a**es. They treated us like royalty. ADORE! When I left my seat to go to the restroom, the server at the door, who was scanning the room to service any needs of diners, stepped aside and literally did that whole *Sweeping hand with slight bow! Right this way, my lady!* gesture. I said to the server in the hall “Restroom?” and he did the exact same thing in the direction of the restroom while saying “Straight ahead and to the left, ma’am.” When I came back through, I gave him a full kiss on the mouth, then tucked him in my pocket to take home with me. Not really. But I wanted to.

After dinner, we went down to the bar to have a drink while we waited for our cab. Which never showed up. Seriously. We sat there drinking for probably an hour and taking pictures with people. (Bye-bye, RSS!)

The gang with Chef Flanagan

Me with Chef Flanagan

The gang with the Abita brewmaster (can't remember his name- surprise, surprise!)

The gang with some guy who started chatting with Byron at the bar and proclaimed himself "The Sausage King"

Eventually, we asked the bartender to call a cab for us, even though Burt had called like three times already and had waited outside for the better part of the hour. It got to the point where they were closing, and I asked the valet outside if he would call a cab for us, which he ran inside to do because at that point I think he was like, “Anything! Just get the f**k out! You’re drunk and obnoxious!” But, but… we’re fuuuuuuuuuuun obnoxious drunk, Mr. Valet!

Ten seconds later we all piled into the cab, which magically appeared, and within ten minutes we were all back at Chez Sista and BDaigle’s. Melissa’s mom greeted us and kept trying to get us to whisper and be quiet so as not to wake Zah- Zah. A complete exercise in futility for her. Within 5 minutes, Burt was asleep in the recliner, despite the fact me, Bydee, and Melissa were still whooping it up. About 30 minutes later, the rest of us gave up the ghost and went to bed.

Because there is a baby in the house, we were all awake and in the living room by 8:30 AM. We all sat around shooting the s**t and playing with Zah-Zah.

Baby speak for "Hoooooooooold me!!"

At about 10:30 AM, we decided we were starving, got dressed, and went out to Martin Wine Cellar for lunch, which was delicious. I know this because I took a bite of everyone’s meal. Classy! We roamed the store afterward for a bit and got a slice of heaven…err, peanut butter chocolate layer cake to go.

Back at the Daigles’, Melissa and I devoured the cake then I hustled Byron out to the car before he fell asleep in the chair, and we headed back to Lafayette. The trip back was uneventful with Byron sleeping for most of it.

All in all, I couldn’t have asked for a better trip. What a great start to my BIRTHDAY weekend, which will continue tonight (Saturday) with a night out at The Tap Room and Café Roma. Pics and post tomorrow for that.

Wheeeeee! Turning old never felt so good!

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