Musings from some former inhabitants of the sprawling metropolis that is Prudhomme City

Monday, January 19, 2009

Eating Healthy? Eh, Not So Much.

by CajunKate

So much for that whole "eating right in the new year" thingy I had proposed to myself. This weekend, Alex and I went on a date. We ate at Zea's, one of our top five restaurants in Lafayette. Yeah, it's a chain, but it is one of the best chains ever, ever, ever. Every day, Zea has a meat of the day, and on Saturdays the meat is slow-roasted veal. It is heaven on a plate. The fact that it is baby cow heaven on a plate always gives me pause, but it is just so darn delicious that I can never bring myself not to order it. And so I feasted on roasted garlic hummus and the roasted veal with sides of sweet potatoes and Zea's famous roasted corn grits, which I washed down with two glasses of un-roasted Merlot. ( Then we went to see Grand Torino, which almost made me give up my lunch. Folks, wait for the Red Box DVD rental for a buck on this one. Trust.)

One would think after Saturday's gorge fest, I would have chilled on Sunday....and one would be wrong. But I blame Sunday's dietary mishaps on Burt and Melissa because if they had never given us a gift certificate to Don's Specialty Meats then I would never have felt compelled to spend it on this:

That, my friends, is a pork steak dinner. The star of this plate lunch is the gigantic, perfectly seasoned, incredibly tender pork steak. Buried under it are coleslaw, peas, rice dressing and a roll. Not pictured are the ten pounds of cellulite it added to my thighs. On the bright side, I ate the vegetables. That counts as healthy. You may quibble that cabbage slathered in mayo and peas smothered in butter do not count as vegetables. To which I say, "Take your f***ing logic and hit the bricks!"

Friday, January 9, 2009

Classic Poppa Smurf!

by CajunKate

So, about two minutes ago, I opened my email to find a joke from Poppa Smurf. (For those who don't know, Poppa Smurf is a nickname for Daddy. I don't know who came up with it (any sibs out there remember the origin?), but someone decided our dad looked like Poppa Smurf, minus the blue skin and short stature, of course. For years, my brothers [not me; I was too scared] called my dad Smurf.) The email consisted of a joke. This joke represents, in a VERY classic way, the kind of joke that makes Daddy chortle in his signature laugh. When I read it, I burst out laughing. Mostly because I was imagining Daddy busting a gut laughing. Behold, the type of joke my dad absolutely think is absolutley HYSTERICAL(!!):

There once was an Indian who had only one testicle, and whose given name was 'Onestone'.
He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone. After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,' If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!' The word got around and nobody called him that any more.
Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.'
He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day until Blue Bird died from exhaustion. The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.
Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until awoman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away. Yellow Bird was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.'
Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!
OH, come on... take a guess!
Think about it
You're going to love this:
You can't kill two birds with one stone!!

Ladies and gentleman, that joke, in a nutshell, represents my dad- the one and only CajunCharlie!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Blogging 2009: The Problem

by CajunKate

So, I haven't been posting anything. I know, I know. Here's the problem. Too much happened at the end of 2008. It was all a big blur, and every time I sat down to write a post about it, I couldn't get anything straight in my head. Then I posted my pics to Flickr and started posting more to Tumblr (because it soothes the ADHD in me), and I was all "Whatever! That's good enough!" It was the best end to a year ever, and yet I can't seem to blog a single thing about it. I will sum it all up in one sentence: I adored spending time with my immediate family and my extended family, and some of us need to move so that we see each other more often so that I am not left with the unsettling feeling of missing people so much that I want to sponataneously burst into tears at odd moments.

That's the end of 2008.

Which brings us to 2009. During the first eight days, I have blogged absolutely
NOTHING. Reason? I am now doing an internship. This internship involves me getting up at 6:00 AM every day, trying to stuff my fat a** into clothes which no longer fit (Thanks, Holidays 2008!), putting on uncomfortable shoes, and going to a school for eight hours a day. I might add that I also have to put on makeup, and I don't get paid. All of this turns me into a crabby bitch, BUT that is not the reason I have not been posting. The reason involves the word school. I can't write about anything I do there because I am deathly afraid that someone will find this blog and sue me from here to kingdom come. The fact that I am now spending the majority of my days at a place accumulating experiences that are soooooooooooooo f**king bloggable, but can't BE blogged has also turned me into a cranky bitch. So what to blog about besides that? Here's all I got:

  • When I called Jen in Ohio to wish her a happy birthday on January 6 (Happy birthday, Jen!), I got to speak to Colin. He said that he misses me and that I should come to his house tomorrow, and asked was I with Uncle Bydee and was I at Ma-Mere's house, and oh yeah, come to his house tomorrow, okay? I also got to speak to Quinn who said he misses me and he loves me and oh wait, Transformers is on so bye-bye, Nanny Kate. Total cute deliciousness!
  • I saw Tropic Thunder, and I hated it. Thank God we only spent a dollar renting it from Red Box at Albertson's.
  • I haven't worked out in two weeks, and I feel like crap. Yet at the end of the day, I am too tired to make myself go work out because I feel like crap. I am thinking maybe some meth to get me back on track. (Kidding! Totally kidding! Probably.)
  • My only New Years resolution is to have more sex. Unsurprisingly, Alex is totally on board with this resolution. Need more TMI? It is going well.
  • And finally--no matter what, I promise to find s**t to blog about. Even if it is boring stuff like this. Poor you.
The end.