Musings from some former inhabitants of the sprawling metropolis that is Prudhomme City

Saturday, April 19, 2008

When Cell Phones Make a Break for It

by CajunKate

So this week brought a rash of Daigle cell phones mislaid and unaccounted for. On Friday, I got this email from the mayor:

Subject: ALERT!
Actually the subject should be.... an alert from a dumb-ass. I have misplaced/lost my cell phone. How dumb and asinine is that? In the meantime I have had my phone disconnected, and am still trying to figure out where I laid the damn thing. So, if you have attempted to call me and could not you now know the reason why. If I find it, or if replace it with a new one, I will let you all know if the number has stayed the same or changed.
In the meantime, offer up a prayer for the #1 dumb-ass.


And then on Saturday, I got this email from Ted:

Subject: Re: on Alert and the price of being a victim
To all,
As long as we are on cell phones, I have lost mine, as well. Unlike Dad, my loss is not my fault. I blame the strange environment, a dressing room. I am almost never in one. I blame Academy sports. They don't have a sign in their dressing room reminding me not to be stupid and leave my cell phone in a dressing room while I'd rather be in the hunting section. I blame the cell phone company. They allow me to buy insurance on my phone and it only costs me a small deductible to have it replaced in a few days. They make me irresponsible. I blame anyone and everyone at school. It was after work and they had all made me tired and forgetful. I blame Anheuser-Busch. I wanted to be drinking a beer after work (instead of during work as usual). They distracted me. I blame my own negative attitude. I hate my cell phone and am glad that it is gone.
Anyway, the enablers at the cell phone insurance company will have me back in action on Monday. Call me at ***-**** if you'd like to hear my voice mail, because I don't answer my cell phone and don't return calls unless it's about something fun or happy. I will be in Washington D.C. from Tuesday to Friday if you would like to be ignored from the nation's capitol.
Have a great day, don't beat up Dad and don't blame me for losing my phone.
Your victim of the "Me generation",

Man, it's a great week to be a cell phone in the Daigle family. I bet they're both traveling the underground railroad to reunite with all the other freed cell phones and celebrate. Or some lucky meth head is trying to sell them for ten dollars down at the bus station. One or the other.

Ben and Jerry Congratulate Me

by CajunKate

So today I had to go to the grocery store. This was not like an optional "Oh, I should swing by; we could use some pot pies" kind of thing. This was an "Oh my God, we're out of coffee and bread and milk, and anything else that might actually be edible" thing. I don't like going to the grocery store. It is a direct result of my well-documented social retardedness. I just know that something untoward will happen. Like the time I slipped on spilled sugar and took out a rack of coffee creamer. Or the time I reached over to grab a pack of gum, and the rest of the candy aisle collapsed on me. You know, stuff like that. It all kinda puts a damper on going out in public in general, but makes venturing to the grocery store a thing of phobic proportions.

These days I normally go to Wal-Mart. Why? In a nutshell, it's cheap. It's horrible and tacky and filled with people who, for the most part, should be part of a government mandated sterilization program, but it's cheap. However, today, I just couldn't deal with it so I went to Albertson's despite the fact that I was guaranteed to pay at least twice what I would pay at Wal-Mart. It was a small price to pay for my teetering hold on sanity, I figured. And I'm in Albertson's dickering with myself over whether I am going to die from cancer caused by a lifetime of overindulging in chemically saturated hamburger (the ground sirloin I was staring at looked particularly carcinogenic to me for some reason) when I notice a woman quietly, but openly, weeping. Man, I felt really bad for her! But then, because at heart I am selfish and vapid, I thought about how
I want to cry all the time in the grocery store. How I want to bawl and stamp my feet and throw avocados at unsuspecting produce boys. But I don't. And it struck me that this is one of the few situations in which I am actually able to control my need to sob, and I was pretty proud of myself in that moment. Like, I cry when the cat pukes on the floor for the nine hundredth and ninety ninth time this week, but I can control myself in the grocery store so...yay, me! Thus, to reward myself for my magnificent self-control in not allowing myself to weep in the meat section of the grocery store like that there poor lady, I got myself this:

Ahhhhh, that's the ticket. Now I can cry quietly at home over the expanding girth of my thighs... and all is well.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Our Very Own Super Coach

by CajunKate

So I got an email from big bro CRoy today, and it seems he and his current track team have done it again. Chuck has an history of leading track teams to championships, so why should this year be any different? (Next time you see him, ask him if he'll open his vault and show you his ginormous 2-A championship rings.) He led his amazing St. Joe's girls (yeah, girls rock!) to the District 5-5A championship this past week.

Here's a quote by Chuck from the St. Joe's website:
“We turned in another very balanced performance,” said first-year track coach Charlie Daigle. “I am very proud of the girls, as I have been all year. I think it is a tribute to these girls that this is what we believe to be the first district championship in more than 10 years.”

Link to full
Baton Rouge Advocate article HERE.

Way to go, bro! You da man!

(Ed. note: If anyone affiliated with St. Joe's manages to find their way here for whatever reason and reads any further...ummm, please excuse my potty mouth. Pray for me. I think a few novenas should do the trick. Maybe.)

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Blogger Daydreams

by CajunKate

So I'm looking at my calendar and in between feverishly working on the end of semester pile-up, I am feverishly daydreaming about the one thing that is keeping me sane at the moment, and that is the fact that the Zandinator has proposed that both of us desperately need to get out of dodge (Dodge?...whatever!) for a change of pace. His idea is that we do a brief trip to Houston to catch an Astros game. Now, seriously, this is the mark of a great husband. Let's not kid ourselves. We all know that Alex has no desire to go sit in a stadium in a humidity stew and watch a slow-paced sporting event. The man is making a sacrifice so that I, sports nut that I am, will be made happy. And happy I am. Oh, so happy! And here are the reasons why:

1. I really DO need to get out of town. Before the financially strapped days of grad school, we (and by we, I mostly mean me) were always gallivanting off to some place to do something. That was then, this is now, and the last time we went anywhere for an overnight was back in January for BDaigle's birthday party in NOLA. I have some serious cabin fever.

2. I love watching live baseball (TV baseball, not so much).

3. I have not been to Minute Maid park yet, and I hear it is quite fetching.

4. Alex has checked the schedule and guess who the Astros are playing in the second to last week of May? My favorite team! The Cubs! (God loves me!)

5. We will stay in a hotel, and I love hotels. Why? Because it's about as close as I ever get to being waited on hand and foot. I don't have to clean anything, I don't have to make the bed, I can call somebody up and get them to bring me food on a whim. Awesome!

6. New restaurants! Yes, I am obsessed with food. I make no apologies.

7. I will not have to drive. I hate to drive, and Houston is the capital of moronic drivers, as far as I am concerned.

8. Not a textbook in sight. Yeah, that's right! I will be reading a FICTION book for sheer PLEASURE. Take that intellect!

New location nookie. You know what I'm sayin'?!? (I think you do, and we are all now suitably embarrassed and grossed out by the fact that I did just say that.)

10. I don't care how fancy-schmancy Minute Maid Park may be, it's still a baseball stadium so cold beer!

If this does come to fruition (please, oh please, oh please!), I promise to regale all of you with a long and picture heavy blog about it. No, no, try to curb your enthusiasm, really.

Also, I have been in touch with baby bro Byron, and a tentative trip to Columbus to see Jen, Tim, and their bebes may occur as well. As you may recall, we did this last year, and we had a fantastic time. Turns out we make a pretty good team. Who knew? Anyway, definitely blog, pictures, AND video will be result of that. So beware come mid to late July!

Finally, I am reconsidering the use of my tourney winnings. I came into another unexpected source of fundage and am now considering the purchase of a camera so loaded with features that I will no doubt need a Ph.D. to use it to any significant effect. This is troubling as I am having trouble imagining that I will actually be able to get through my Masters program with mind and body intact. Still, that camera is freakin' cool lookin'!

Til next time, keep on, keepin' on, my peeps!

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Prudhomme City Primer

by CajunKate & BDaigle

Prudhomme City Chronicle
- personal blog for all former and current Prudhommians and their fawning, other interested parties; founded by CajunKate and contributed to by BDaigle and Jen-Jen, all former Prudhommians; features the rambling thoughts of CajunKate and updates on the goings-on of the Daigle clan and its minions

Prudhomme City- not actually a city or town; small cluster of homes in south Louisiana smack dab in the middle of Cajun country; aerial view of area can be seen in the masthead of Prudhomme City Chronicle; ground zero for the Daigle clan

Daigle Manor - not actually a manor, but a large farmhouse; largest home in Prudhomme City; former home of the mayor and first lady of Prudhomme City now inhabited by Ted & Molly.

Daigle Compound - Ted & Molly moving out to Prudhomme City prompted this new name. The original Daigle homestead (dubbed the Tinderbox by the first lady) which is not inhabited and used for storage was moved from its place across the yard from Daigle Manor to face Hwy. 95 and make room for the the mayor and first lady's new home. The mayor & first lady bought, moved, and renovated the mayor's first cousin's Victorian home (circa 1900's). 40 acres, 3 houses, and 10 Daigles = Daigle Compound.

The mayor (a.k.a Daddy, Dad, Poppa Smurf, CajunCharlie; b. Dec. 14, 1930- d. Dec.19, 2010)- not actually a mayor, but affectionately referred to as such by his children since he is the the most happening dude in Prudhomme City; retired USAF lieutenant colonel and former farmer; loved dearly and missed deeply

The first lady (a.k.a. Mom, Momma, Maw, Gwen, Gwenie, Gwendola)- not actually a first lady but married to "not actually a mayor" CajunCharlie so she gets honored status as well; displaced Yankee, former RN, cancer survivor, mother of six, and a rockin' feminista

The first daughters and sons: six offspring of the mayor and first lady listed below
  • Charlie (a.k.a. Charlie Roy, CRoy, Chuck)- oldest of the Daigle clan; currently resides in the hell hole known as Baton Rouge (no offense, bro!); married to the lovely and talented Aimee (a.k.a Aims, Aimster), a nurse practitioner; two awesome offspring

Emily- gorgeous girlie attending high school; multi-talented (sings, dances, and acts!); also known as Queen Emily since she is first grandchild of the mayor and first lady
Noah- cutest boy in Baton Rouge; admired for his Transformer and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle obsessions
  • Jenny (a.k.a. Jen-Jen)- second born of the Daigle clan; currently lives in Gahanna, Ohio, with her freakin' awesome husband Tim; two phenomenal offspring

Quinn- currently sharing title of cutest kid in Ohio with his brother; most days can be found wearing Ragin Cajun gear foisted upon him by his aunt, Cajun Kate
Colin- tied for cutest kid in Ohio with his brother Quinn; usually can be found grinning and headed for trouble with a cookie or other edible treat in each hand
  • Katie (a.k.a. CajunKate, Nanny Kate)- third born of the Daigle clan; currently resides in Lafayette; married to Alex (a.k.a. Zandy, the Zandinator, Zandodalee); no offspring
  • Ted- fourth born of the Daigle clan; currently resides in Prudhomme City; married to Molly, hot wife and mom; 7 fantastic offspring- six boys (a.k.a. the Little Man Clan) and one girl.

Max- oldest son; sports afficianado
Gabe- second born; daredevil
Sam (a.k.a Shoobee)- third born; spurner of physical affection and lone LSU fan of the Daigle clan (TRAITOR!)
John Thomas (a.k.a. JT or Johnny T)- fourth born; aspiring dictator of Little Man Clan
Mary Grace- lone girl of the offspring; also known as Princess Mary Grace since she and Queen Emily were the only female grandchildren at one time.
6. Peter Roy (a.k.a. Speedy; the Drunken Irishman, PRoy)- most laid back baby ever; likes eating and sleeping (in that order)
7. Michael Francois- baby (for now) of the Little Man Clan; middle name is in honor of The Mayor
  • Burt (a.k.a. BDaigle, T-Burt)- fifth born of the Daigle clan; lone dissenter as he is the only child not to have graduated from UL, but transferred to McNeese State University instead (TRAITOR!); currently resides in New Orleans with the beautiful and funny Melissa (a.k.a. Sista); two offspring

1. Eliza Camille: (a.k.a Zah-Zah or Cheeks) third female grandchild; also known as Princess Eliza; knows what she wants and knows how to get it- she uses her excessive cuteness!

2. Libby Kate: (a.k.a. Wibby; Libs) fourth female grandchild; known for her smiles and delicious baby fat rolls

  • Byron (a.k.a. Bydee)- baby of the Daigle clan; resides in his own home in Grand Coteau; has Masters degree and is gainfully employed; hot and ferociously funny and currently taken by the beautiful & sweet-natured Steph

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Oh, When the Saints Start Makin' Wine...Wait....What?

by CajunKate

So today I sent the Zandinator to the store for two things essential to my being- Diet Coke and wine. Zandy likes to surprise me when I send him off "fer muh likker" and that's fine by me, as I am an adventurous sort when it comes to wine. He came back with a wine being marketed by none other than legendary Saints' quarterback Bobby Hebert. After I finished guffawing and looked at the bottle, I saw it was a Cabernet Sauvignon produced in California. Also, the proceeds go to a great cause- the Louisiana Chapter of the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. That's cool, very cool. After a lil' research on ye olde Google, I discovered that Drew Brees also has a wine, a Chardonnay, that benefits charity. Find the info here. Anyway, Bobby's "Cajun Cannon Cabernet" (okay, so the name is freaking ridonkulous [ALERT! ALERT! New favorite word!], but hey, it's charity) is, according to the label, "Rich and ripe with enticing flavors of currant, blackberry, and creamy chocolate oak and notes of spice and tobacco." (Mmmm, creamy chocolate oak. Makes me wanna go gnaw on furniture.) Actual CajunKate verdict? Not bad. I'd drink it again. Pick up a bottle if you see one. Except for Sista. Not her. She's got the bebe and all. Did I mention she was crying over my shoulder on Easter as I guzzled wine? Awwww, I feel bad... still, better her than me.

Mmmmm, wine!

Yeah, baby! Football AND wine! It's all me!

And I know what you're thinking- Heeyyyy, she's always b***hin' about how much school work she has to do. Should she really be blogging? And should she really be drinking? Answer? No, I should not. Do I care? No, I do not.

That is all.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!

by CajunKate

So, who's the big winner? ME, ME, ME! I am! I am! I am! I'd like to thank the Kansas Jayhawks, their coach Bill Self and, most especially, Mario Chalmers. I'd like to thank all of my gentleman competitors and my one lady competitor for their generous contributions to the pool's jackpot. Just so you all know, your hard earned money will be going toward completely frivolous purchases- that new pair of cross trainers (which I am sure will be all the rage among the octogenarians at my gym), iced coffees from PJs to get me through the rest of the semester, and several bottles of Merlot for my end of semester party. I am looking forward to kicking all of your collective a**es again next year. Rawr! The end.

(Click pic to enlarge)

Monday, April 7, 2008

Bring on The Crazy!

by CajunKate

So do you ever experience an uninterrupted expanse of time- days, maybe weeks or, for a lucky few of us, maybe a year- where you're just tripping along through life, and you find yourself lulled into this false sense of security that everything is okay and nobody is really weird and insane, and then in one day "the crazy" is just thrown at you from every direction, and all of the sudden, you're like, "Holy c**p, I forgot the whole world is full of f**king nut jobs! Wow, Universe, thanks for the not-so-gentle reminder!" Yeah, well, today was one of those days. Let us begin, shall we?

I am at Walgreens after working out with the geezers at my gym. I am tired. I look less than stellar... to put it mildly. And yet, somehow, this random lady in a car rolling through the parking lot picks me to ask for directions to the nearest Starbucks. Now, let me just say that I am NOT a person that usually gets asked for directions. I don't know why. Perhaps I emit pheromones that let people know I am a socially retarded member of the greater human community. At any rate, I guess her social retardedness radar was not operating at maximum satisfaction, jonesing as she was for a venti caramel Frappuccino. She was desperate, you see, and obviously from out of town. She began spouting off about previous directions and Amabassador Caffery Road which, in truth, she could not possibly have been further from if she had tried. In fact, I can't even imagine how she ended up where she did, oh so very far from Ambassador, but whatever. In the middle of her strident pleading (and I couldn't help but notice that this b***h had some serious issues with Starbucks' addiction judging from the TWO empty Starbucks cups that presently occupied her cupholder), enter abject poor person begging for money for her and her grandpa to get gas. Yes, for real. Walked right up on us and asked both of us for cash. The lady in the car promptly replied that she had no cash (WHAT? You're going to Starbucks, lady!), and I was so thrown off that I didn't know what to do, so I still
just tried to deal with the lady in the car but, at this point, I was so addled by the unexpected appearance of crazy lady asking for gas money that I ended up telling the car lady that the only Starbucks was clear across town without mentioning that there was a CC's Coffee House across the street if she really just wanted a coffee product and not Starbucks per se. The car lady took off without so much as a thank you, at which point I realized that her abrupt departure was due to the fact that the gas money lady WAS STILL STANDING THERE! And, yes, she asked me for cash again for her and her grandpa and, if I wanted to, I could go to the gas station myself to pay for it. Uh no, I'll pass on that is what I thought to myself as I said, "Sure. Look, here's three bucks. It's all I have." Now I know, and you know, that she probably went off to buy meth or a pint of gin, but really, who am I to begrudge her the method by which she gets through this life? I use Pringles and Merlot; she may use crank. To each his own. And that was that. Although I did have to sit in my car for a few seconds and catch my breath and talk myself down with a mental Yes, that actually did just happen. You're cool. It's all good.

Ah, but the Universe was not done with me yet. Apparently, I had gone far, far too long without a dose of "the crazy." Skip forward several hours to me trudging across campus to return about-oh, I don't know- a
dozen books to the library. They were heavy so to reward myself after the returning, I decided to get myself an iced coffee...from PJ's, not Starbucks. I am not choosy. But I didn't have any cash since I'd given my last three bucks to the gas lady, so I had to go to the ATM, and as I approached it, a young man approached me and earnestly said, "Excuse me, we are giving away these free DVDs that inform you about the IRS and its function as an illegal institution. Would you like one?" Well now I felt like I was involved in some unorthodox game of chance. So I said, "I see your illegal IRS, and I raise you that your DVD will immediately upload all of my personal information to the CIA upon which time I will immediately be arrested for some violation of the Patriot Act and be sent off the Guantanomo Bay. Your move, dissenter man!" But what I really said was, "No, thank you, not today." (Whaaaa? Like, maybe check with me tomorrow, and I'll have changed my mind. Here, let me give you my home number, and you can make like a Mormon and come ring my bell. We'll chat then.)

But, lo, this was not the end. After getting my iced coffee, I headed off toward my class, my mind occupied with finishing up a chapter of reading, the mountain of summaries I have left to do, the research proposal that I have to write and that I haven't even started on, when, on the exact opposite corner from IRS man, a much older man popped out at me thrusting a DVD into my face proclaiming, "Here! Watch this free DVD about the unconstitutional Federal Reserve!" Really? What I
wanted to do was yell at him, "Look, you! Go get that younger version of yourself right now!" and I wanted to take both of them by their ears and fly off to Washington, D.C., and march up to Capitol Hill (yes, still clutching both of them by their respective ears) and drag them onto the Senate floor and bellow at the top of my lungs, "SEE! Do you see what happens when you let the economy slide into a recession and people start foreclosing on their homes and selling their babies' kidneys for profit?!? You make ME be accosted by nut jobs like these when all I wanna do is drink my f***ing iced coffee and stress out about school in motherf***ing peace!" Sigh.

But I didn't do that. I said, "Oh no, but thank you. Not today." And I fully expect the old and young anarchists to show up at my squalid little abode sometime tomorrow for a rousing conversation about government mind control. We'll be having Pringles and Merlot, of course.

And how was
your day, fave peeps?