Columbus Day Five: Bye-Bye Alex and Hello Birbigs!

by CajunKate

So Day 5 started off with a fairly early wake up call, so I could make sure that Alex got on the airport shuttle from the HI Express. And let me just pause here to give a shout out to the Holiday Inn Express in Gahanna. We’ve stayed there three years in a row now and absolutely love it. It’s very clean, the staff is super nice, the maid service is first rate, and the breakfast is AWESOME! Those cinnamon rolls are the bomb diggity, and I’m not even that much of a fan of the cinnamon roll in general. And I don’t know what they use as an air freshener there, but you know those Febreeze commercials where the people like fall on the rugs and curtains and bury their faces in them? That’s what I wanted to do every time I stepped off onto the 4^th floor this trip. Love ya, HI Express Gahanna!

Okay, moving on. Alex and I woke up a about 8:30 and got him ready for departure. We went downstairs and enjoyed our delicious free breakfast. I insisted that he leave for the airport no later than 10:30 AM for his noon flight. I wanted to be sure that he had plenty of time to make his flight. Blame my high anxiety levels. That’s what I do. Cuz it’s TRUE!

Once Alex was seen off safely, I gathered up my laptop and went down to the pool to catch up on my blog and picture uploads. Even though it’s an indoor pool, it was still incredibly relaxing. Jen called me at what I thought was 11 o’clock to see if I wanted to go with her to pick up the boys at 12:30. I said yes, but then realized I was in the wrong time zone on my laptop and was still in my swimsuit. I didn’t think unsuspecting babysitters needed to be exposed to that, so I remained at the hotel and got ready at a leisurely pace while waiting for Byron to return from Louisville. When he got back, right on time at 1:00 PM as instructed by Mrs. Anxiety here (Good job, Bydee!), we headed over to Jen’s place. On the way there, Bydee unwittingly opened the door to the perfect chance to gross him out when he asked what we had done while he was in Louisville. I responded, "Oh, we took the boys swimming and then we ordered Chinese food for supper at Jen and Tim's, and then Alex and I came back to the hotel... (pause for effect, turn to Byron and yell at the side of his face) and then we f**ked like rabbits!" Purrrfect timing since he screamed "AHHH! EWWWW! Do not want! TMI! Gross!" Ahahhahahahaha! Nothing is as fun as harrassing Bydee. NOTHING!

We had plans to head over to Cincinatti to see my new favorite comic Mike Birbiglia, a.k.a. "Birbigs". We hung out for awhile and played with the boys then around 3:30 PM, we headed over to Hilliard to drop the boys off at Tim’s parents for an overnight. Quinn, after almost a week of weird schedules and missed naps, had a minor meltdown because he wanted Bydee to ride with them to Hilliard. (What am I? Chopped liver?) But Byron was feeling the effects of a night of Maker’s Mark in Louisville, so he stayed behind to take a nap and recover. Once we were in the car, the boys fell asleep almost immediately. The drop off at Tim’s parents was fine, and I got to see Jen and Tim’s niece Valerie, daughter of Tim’s brother David and his wife Britt, who is just the cutest little chunky monkey babay.

We picked up Tim from work on the way back, and the boys had a few beers and relaxed before we headed over to Cincy at about 6:30 pm for the eight o’clock show. On the way, we stopped off for a restroom break for the guys and tried to get them some beer, but we happened to stop in a dry county. Curses! For them. I didn’t give a s**t since I couldn’t drink. Yeah, I don't really do compassion when I can't partake in the drinking.

We probably should have left a bit earlier for the show, especially since none of us know Cincy at all. But, thanks to my precious the iPhone, we made it there. We were a bit late, arriving at 8:30, but Mike had just gotten on stage. The comedy club, Go Bananas, was really nice. Jen and Bydee had never been to a comedy club before so they were both shocked at how intimate the setting was. We were seated maybe 20 feet away from Mike.

Before we left for Columbus, I had forced Byron to watch YouTube videos of Mike Birbiglia and he thought he was hilarious, but neither Tim nor Jen had ever seen any of Mike’s videos. I was a bit worried that they wouldn’t like him, but I think Mike has two new fans. They loved him! I, of course, laughed so hard I cried. It was awesome!

After the show, they announced that Mike would be out front and there was merchandise, including CDs, available for purchase. Jen and I went into the bathroom after the show, and when we finally got to the merch table, there was no Mike and there were no CDs on the table, so we went outside to meet up with Tim and Bydee. They decided to go into the bar next door to get a drink for the road, and I decided to go back into the comedy club to actually ask about the CDs. When I went in, I asked the guy at the table about the CDs. Some guy over to the left piped up, “I don’t know what happened. They didn’t show up. Here, you can have this keychain or something.” I looked over and HOLY S**TBALLS!!!!! It was Mike! I talked to him for a minute and told him I’d come all the way from Louisiana for his show (which was close enough to the truth), and he let me take a pic with him.

Me with Birbigs!

He always makes what he calls his “picture face” in photos, which I think is hysterical. Anyway, he was super nice as I gushed all over him and he told me he hoped to see me at another show sometime. Which I def plan to make happen! When I came running out of the club, I was all “BA-DAM! Look at this, b***hes! I got a pic with Mike!” And everyone was duly excited and thrilled for me.

In the bar, Bydee and Tim had asked for their drinks to go and, of course, the bartender was all, “What? Uh, we don’t do that.” Bydee spied some plastic cups on the bar and just poured the drinks into them. You can take the boy out of Louisiana, but you can’t take away his to-go cup.

The trip back seemed much quicker than the trip down. I guess the Mike Birbiglia anticipation on the way there had something to do with it. Anyway, we made it back to C-bus, and I had convinced Jen on the trip back to get up early and go to Jack and Benny’s with me at 7:30 AM. Bydee and Tim were having no part of that since they were both going to be nursing hangovers. My evil plan to spend some quality sister time with Jen came to fruition with frightening ease!

Everyone tucked into some late night leftovers, but I limited myself to a handful of Doritos because I wanted to be plenty hungry for Jack and Benny’s in the AM. Food obsessed pig here!

Eventually, Bydee and I headed back to the hotel where Byron’s self-imposed ban was over because the all night freight train known as Zandy was back in Louisiana. We both fell into a deep and blissful sleep. Him to sleep out his alcohol consumption and me to prep myself for the AM gluttony at my fav C-bus breakfast joint.

And you've been spared because I didn't really take any pics on Day 5. You can thank me later. The end.