Musings from some former inhabitants of the sprawling metropolis that is Prudhomme City

Friday, July 11, 2008

Columbus Day Three: Beyond Gluttony and an Albino Squirrel Encounter

by CajunKate

So yesterday was Day Three of our Columbus expedition. I actually got up and walked three miles on the treadmill in some sort of effort to work off the nine million calories I ate in the first two days. For a day that started off with such healthy promise, the quick decline in healthfulness was truly something to behold.

Jen and Tim were busy getting the boys admitted for acceptance to a pre-school program and catching up on house chores. Now I know I've been calling this the Columbus trip, but Jen and Tim do not actually live in Columbus. They live in Gahanna, a very cute little suburb. In Gahanna, there is a section of town called Olde Town which is an upscale district with luxury apartments, boutiques, and restaurants. All of it is set on Big Walnut Creek, and there are walking trails along the banks. This is the area where Bydee and I decided to have lunch. We ate at a place called Old Bag of Nails (a.k.a. OBON) that Tim and Jen had suggested. At OBON, Bydee and I sat creek side under the shade of tree canopy and umbrellas. The day was gorgeous since a cold front had come through. (Am I in heaven? Cold fronts in July? Thank you, Baby Jesus!) I continued my healthy program by ordering a SALAD! Yes, actual roughage...oh, and an order of onion rings as an appetizer. But, all things considered, I thought I was still doing, um..
.okay on my healthy day. After lunch, Bydee and I walked around the creek area where people were picnicking on the banks and frolicking in the creek and waterfall.

If I lived here, I'd be down there every day. (I found myself trying to imagine people doing the same thing along the banks of the Vermilion River back in Lafayette. I think that would consist of dying from heat exhaustion, ingesting water-born viruses, and being drained of all blood by mosquitoes.) As we emerged back up at street level, Bydee busts out with, "How about some ice cream?" There was a Coldstone Creamery looming ahead. I promised myself I would get a soft-serve yogurt or something. I ended up with a waffle bowl of sweet cream ice cream mixed with pecans, caramel sauce, and fudge brownies... hate, hate, hate Bydee! Yes, he IS totally responsible for my lack of self-control. Thank you for seeing things my way.

After lunch we headed back over to Jen and Tim's. Colin and Quinn were taking a nap so I just sat on Jen and Tim's back porch in a food coma while everyone else took a nap with them. I did not take a nap. I find that a strange thing has happened as I grow older. My body has slowly discarded the Daigle gene for relishing naps. It is truly odd that I can no longer take a nap in the middle of the day and IT SUCKS, especially when I was in that downward spiral from the Coldstone Creamery sugar high. It was during this back porch time that I had the freakiest backyard wildlife sighting ever. An ALBINO squirrel! It was feasting on mulberries. Check it!

Colin and Quinn (and everyone else) eventually awoke. There was more of that d**n
Scamper the Penguin movie, which I am now officially labeling as "The Movie Most Likely to Make Me Impale Myself on a Bed of Dull Nail Files." Also, we were treated to two concerts each with the keyboard as accompaniment.

Also, I have failed to mention in previous posts that both of the boys have developed an obsessive love of my cameras. Colin prefers the still camera, and Quinn likes the video camera. Jen and Tim do not like the fact that I let the boys use their sticky little hands to grapple with my expensive doo-dads. Me? Meh. Seriously, both Colin and Quinn take directions very well. So I trained them on how to hold the cameras, and they both already know that the cameras are "delicate." Yes, they actually know what this word means. When they get a little rough, I just say, "Remember! Delicate. What does that mean?" To which they will reply, "Be geeeentle like with a cafferpillar!" That would be a caterpillar to the rest of us.

I can't show you any of Quinn's handiwork with the video camera, but beware that if he ever sees you with one, he will ask you EIGHT HUNDRED MILLLION times, "I can capture you on film?" until you finally give up and hand him the camera because, really, any four year old who uses the phrase
capture you on film has got to be the next Martin Scorsese, right? Also, you can just leave the camera on pause; he is none the wiser, and you won't end up with a bunch of crappy video of people's feet. This little trick is why I can't show you any of his handiwork. None of it actually exists. Also, I forgot the computer cable for the video camera (IDIOT!) so I can't show you any of my videos either. Lucky you! Well, at least for the next few days until I get home, then it's a video fest, yo!

Colin, on the other hand, has completely figured out how to turn my still camera on and off, raise the flash, and take pictures. This means every night, after he goes to bed, I have to delete ONE THOUSAND pictures of feet and sidewalk. It also means that, in desperation, I will resort to telling a three year old that the camera has to take a nap. I will go even further to ensure that said three year old really believes that this inanimate object needs a nap by constructing an elaborate ritual with the camera's "bed" (the bag) and "tucking the camera in" (zipping the bag shut). Ten seconds after putting the camera down for its nap, Colin begins asking, "Camera waked up now?" and this continues every ten seconds until I turn on the dreaded
Scamper the Penguin to distract him and to avoid having my head implode from saying, "Not yet!" every ten seconds. But Colin has actually gotten pretty good at taking pictures over the past few days. For example, he took this one:
But let's not get too excited about our future Ansel Adams since for every one of his masterpieces, he takes NINE HUNDRED AND NINETY-NINE of these:

Due to Colin's obsession, one would think I would be smart enough to avoid breaking out the camera to capture precious moments spent with the sprinkler ball in the backyard. I should have known that as soon as Colin spotted the camera, he would scream, "Camera waked up!" and come barreling toward me sopping wet with hands outstretched proclaiming, "I take picture of you!" and that I would then have to put the camera away and deal with the fact that I only got about five pictures of the cutest little boys on Earth and their shiny, wet bodies molesting a giant beach ball with water spraying out of it. Which is exactly what happened.

Later on, Colin and Quinn took a bath.

Then the boys hit the sack, and the adults ordered Chinese food. All I ordered were the steamed dumplings. I ordered these because a) I loooove them and b) no Chinese places in Lafayette have these on their menus, and this is weird because, from what I can tell, they are a menu staple on every other Chinese menu in the continental United States. Thus when I get the chance to order steamed dumplings, I take it. And, dude, these dumplings were hella delicious. I think I may have eaten forty of them...give or take. At this point, my body was all, "REALLY? SERIOUSLY? More food? Yeah, cause the salad, onion rings, and ginormous ice cream treat from, oh, five hours ago have been completely burned off, right?" My body may have had a point, but I just ignored it. I mean, Helloooooo, body! It's steamed dumplings. What about that says moderation to you?

So to recap Day Three- stuff face, freak out over albino squirrel, devour cuteness that is nephews and completely oblige then in their love of my very expensive do-dads, stuff face more.

I am beginning to worry that I will have to buy a muumuu for the ride home to Louisiana cuz, yesterday, seriously, the buttons on my pants? Screaming from the strain of trying to hold in my belly. Oy.

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