Do I Know You?

Awwwwwwww, yeeeeaaah! Say hello to Miss Clairol and stuff your fat *ss into some Spanx cuz it's high school reunion time! Try to quell the hysterical laughter at my graduation photo below. Mind your manners. Your picture sucked, too.

Now, I have a very dubious record of 0-3 for these things. Actually, it might be 0-2. Whatever. The point is I've skipped every single one and, to be honest, I had no real intention of going this time either but, thanks to MySpace, I had several old classmates urging me to suck it up and show my face. Being a good Catholic, I responded to the guilt and sent in my hard earned dough. And for the first time ever, I stong-armed Alex into attending what was bound to be an extremely uncomfortable social situation. Desperate times call for desperate measures. No way was I walking into this minefield alone, so I became the crazy wife and got all up in his grill demanding he accompany me. Since he is an awesome husband, he put up no resistance and meekly surrendered. No bitching or kvetching. What a great guy, huh? Love ya, babe! Sometime in September, I realized that the reunion was going to fall on a date that was also a UL home game. Then, as the season wore on, it became apparent that this particular game might be the one that my boys would have a chance of winning...the only one... this season. What a quandry! Right up to the moment we pulled into the parking lot at the VFW Hall (I see you snickering over there!) in Pointe de l'Eglise and pulled out the ice chest (Hey, this ain't the Ritz. BYOB, mofos! I believe that was the basic sentiment on the invite), I was considering skipping out and going to the Cajuns' game, but oh, the guilt reared its ugly head, and we carried on. Now, here's the thing. Having never attended one of these shindigs, I didn't really have any idea of what to expect. Turns out it's a lot of awkward conversation until the booze kicks in. Deja vu since that basically encapsulates my high school social experiences. Apparently, some things never change. I'll skip the blow-by-blow and just sum up the highlights.

Number one: "WOW! I didn't even recognize you!" I heard this more times than I care to remember. I'm still trying to figure it out. I can't decide if it was meant as a compliment or a disparaging remark about the ravages of time on my physical being.

Number two: "I'm gay." This was the highlight of the night. There's a guy in our class who is now some kind of preacher for one of those non-denominational churches. Don't get too excited as this is not his full-time job. He also informed me that he does odd jobs, like working for the Sherrif's Department. Huh? That qualifies as an odd job? Whatever, I didn't press the issue. Where was I? Oh yeah, so this cat walks up to a guy that was a really good friend of mine in high school and proceeds with the yada-yada, but what would normally have been boring and trite turned into something absolutely spectacular. It went something like this:
Preacher dude: Hey, man, long time no see? So, what's been going on? Are you married?
Gay friend: No, I'm gay, Preacher Dude.
Preacher dude: Ha! Ha! No, you're not.
Gay friend: Yes, I am. Always have been.
Preacher dude: No, you're not.
Gay friend: Yes, I am. Would you like to see my membership card?
Thaaaat was a knee slapper for me, folks. Absolutely freakin' hysterical! I don't think the preacher dude ever really accepted it either. I think he still believes that my gay friend was just pulling his leg.

Number three: I made a concerted effort to ignore the TV that was set up so that all of us, the majority of whom never even attended let alone completed college, could cheer the LSU Tigers to victory over the Florida Gators. Uh, no. None for me, thanks.

Number four: "Am I really in a VFW Hall right now dancing to... who is this song by again? George who? George Strait?" This was Alex's comment when I dragged him out onto the dance floor for a spin to "The Chair." I laughed so hard at the sheer disbelief in his voice that I literally started crying. Good times, good times. For Alex, I think the whole night was a little surreal. I never talk much about my high school days, and he's never spent any time in Church Point and the slightest amount hanging out with those who claim it as a hometown. Being from New Orleans, it was all pretty much culture shock from the moment he found out that it was BYOB. It took him several days to process that alone.

And that's pretty much it. The best thing about the night was reconnecting with some really great people. I spent a good amount of time catching up with a guy who'd come all the way from Germany. Honest to goodness, he is still one the nicest guys I've ever met. I also got some digits from a couple of my old fav peeps. Hopefully, we can stay in touch because it really was fun hanging out with them again. Unfortunately, I did not take a single picture. So, I leave you with a couple of pictures from my high school era that, I think, pretty much sums up how I felt about the whole experience. Enjoy and keep on, keepin' on to all my favorite peeps!



P.S. The Cajuns did win! Final score was 38-29 over North Texas. Is this the beginning of a comeback season? Let's hope so.