Happy Birfday to ME, ME, ME!

by CajunKate

So yesterday was my birthday. I'm not really into my birthday like I once was. I think this mostly stems from the fact that I seem to bearing down on the big FOUR-O at warp speed, which is really, really disconcerting. Two years from now, I'll be middle-aged, which is so like a What the hell,man?!? situation for me and one which I choose to think about as little as possible. So, for the past few birthdays, I have kept it low key. That way my age escapes notice, and no one can remind me that Heeeeyyy! You're going to be FORTY in a few years! Ha! You're OLD!

These days all I want on my birthday is a nice meal and a happy birthday from the Zandinator. Which I almost didn't get this year. On Saturday, I told Alex I was gong to the grocery store to get stuff to make some pies. Puzzled, he asked, "Why are you making pies?" To which I replied, "Well, I'm making one for my dad for Father's Day, and I'm making one for myself for my birthday. I want pie instead of cake this year." For a nanosecond he looked at me, eyes wide with horror, and then started cursing a blue streak. Things like, "F**k me! Your birthday is on Monday? D**n, d**n, d**n!" At which point it became totally clear that he had forgotten my birthday was on Monday. He was very upset with himself. I, on the other hand, did not really give a s**t. He's been totally stressed about work and the merger and whether he will have a job in the coming months, so I could completely understand that he had a few more pressing issues with which he was dealing. I did my best to calm him while he frantically asked me what I wanted for my birthday...and that, my friends, is when the real birthday dream came true. Oh, yes.

I've been bugging Alex for about a month now to let me spend the money to go see my best friend Seth in San Francisco. He'd been pretty resistant what with things so up in the air at work. He didn't want to spend the money now when we might need it in a few months if he's unemployed. I, on the other hand, am on the opposite end of the spectrum. I figure now is THE time to go because if I don't go now, who knows when I will ever get out there, and it's already been two years since I've seen Seth. And so you see, when it became clear that he had forgotten my birthday and was feeling really guilty and then asked me what I wanted, I took complete advantage of the situation and said, "You know what I want." With a sigh, he said, "San Francisco, right?" And I was all, "Yep." And he finally relented, and I am GOING TO SAN FRANCISCO, PEOPLE! I'm a complete b***h who took advantage of the man she loves in a moment of weakness, but no matter because I am GOING TO SAN FRANCISCO, PEOPLE! It's a win-win really because this relieves him from being a d**k for forgetting my birthday, which he would totally hate, and instead makes me the b***h, which I can totally live with. Also, he did not have to go to a store and deal with people to get me a gift which, for him, is the equivalent of having hot pokers jammed into his eyes. So, yeah, win-win!

Now, as I have mentioned, keeping my birthday on the down-low is a way of escaping the Wow! You're almost forty! HA! You're old! comments. But on Monday morning, Alex exclaimed, "Happy birthday, baby! How old are you?" He knew th answer, of course, so when I said, "Thirty eight." He got to say, "Wow! You're old!" and got a really big kick out of it. This is despite the fact that he is seven months older than me. So the joke's on you, Mister Alex! You're the old one, not me! HA!

The rest of my birthday was pretty unexciting, although I did get a text from my brother Ted at 6:30 AM wishing me happy birthday. This was very sweet of him, mostly because it may be the first time in our adult lives that he actually remembered it was my birthday. I was very touched. I also got a birthday card from my brother Burt and his wife Melissa. Very sweet of them to remember, too. And, of course, Mom and Dad had given me a card and wished me happy birthday on Sunday when they came by for Father's Day. I also got some MySpace messages from various friends wishing me a good one and phone calls from my two best friends, Seth and Naomie. I felt very special, and only Seth harassed me about getting old. The message he left was pretty hysterical, and I am going to try and record it and put it on the blog for all to enjoy.

After an uneventful day, Alex came home and gave me a birthday card with the most delightfully touching note from him written in it. I tried to be a big girl about it, but I got tears in my eyes when I read it. While I sat with my head down focusing on the card and trying not to cry, he placed a bottle of wine in front of me and said, "Ever had Menage a Trois?" HUH?!? This did a good job of squelching the tears and bringing on a case of the icks. Then I saw the label on the bottle.

This set up a hilarious evening for Alex, of course, as he was able to say things like, "You think you'll like Menage a Trois?" and "Bet you're going to really love Menage a Trois!" and "Are you ready to try Menage a Trois?" and "Thinking about having Menage a Trois yet?" All night long with the vaguely salacious Menage a Trois jokes. He was in seventh heaven.

We did go out for a meal. We went to Olive Garden. What can I say? We had a gift certificate. We're cheap these days. Then we came home and had some of the apple crumb pie which was OH MY GOD! delicious. Seriously. Here's a pic.

Now my birthday is over, but I'll get to enjoy Menage a Trois for a few days. (Alex would be so proud of me right now.) The end.