Mmmmmm, Heart Disease!

by CajunKate

So Sunday night was Southern Food Night at the Mottram hovel. Well, for me at least. And, really, who else matters? Oh, wait, there's that Alex guy to whom I'm married. Now, now, before you get all up in arms about me starving the boy, he got his southern food on, too.

Southern Food Night came about because, as we are all painfully aware of by now, I am obsessed with food. You see, a few weeks ago before I left for Columbus, I was going on and on to friends Clelie and Greg about how I was jonesin' for fried green tomatoes, and I was bitching about how it was impossible to find green tomatoes in the grocery store. Fast forward to this past Saturday, when I called them up and invited myself over. Hey, I brought crawfish. Granted, Greg actually cooked them up into an etouffee, but at least I provided them.

Anyway, while I was on the horn with Greg, he said, "Oh, and Clelie has a surprise for you." And I was all, "I hope it's cheese from Fresh Market! No! I hope it's wine! No, wait! I hope it's some yummy baked good from Fresh Market!" (Clelie and I are a bit obsessed with all things Fresh Market lately.) But he wouldn't give anything away, so when I got there Clelie said, (insert sing-song vocie here) "Look, what I got!" And it was green tomatoes! She had gone to the farmer's market in the Oil Center and saw them and picked them up for me. Is this not the sweetest thing? I love her! So that night she fried some up and served them with a delicious salsa (like seriously yummy, like bottle that s**t up and market it yummy) and ohhhhh, they were sooooo good. I also ate one with etouffee on top of it. Yum! Then she gave me the rest to take home with me.

On Sunday, I consulted my trusty go-to Southern cookbook, Fannie Flagg's Original Whistle Stop Cafe Cookbook. You may remember how I raved about this cookbook on the blog post for Alex's birthday. I adore it!


Now, Fannie Flagg is the author of the novel Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe which was eventually adapted into the movie Fried Green Tomatoes, both of which are fan-freaking-tastic. So who better than Fannie Flagg to consult when looking for a recipe for fried green tomatoes? No one, that's who!

There are actually three different recipe versions in the cookbook, but I chose the one that came with a recipe for milk gravy. That meant I had to fry up a bunch of bacon, which I did... in the oven. Sacrilege! BUT have you ever cooked bacon in the oven? It's a little tip I got from Ye Olde Internet. I love it, because it comes out just as crispy as frying it on the stove top but without all the slaving over a hot skillet. Technically, I did not have to have the bacon. What I had to have was the bacon FAT. That's right! Holiest of holies, ooohhhhhh, bacon fat! I needed the bacon fat to fry the tomatoes in...and to use to make a roux for the milk gravy and, not wanting all that bacon to go to waste, I crumpled up a bunch of it and threw it in the gravy. Then I fried those 'maters up and slathered them with that milk gravy and OH, BABY! Heaven on a plate! As God is my witness! I chose to pair my first massive coronary with a lovely ice cold adult beverage. Behold!

And, because I love Alex and because I know he's not a big fan of fried green tomatoes, I picked up a special surprise for him. I had heard Ted CHARLIE ROY (!!), at Aimee's birthday party, raving about a new flavor of Blue Bell ice cream. The Zandinator loves ice cream so, while I was picking up the ingredients for my massive coronary, I saw the new flavor and threw it into my basket as well. I mean, if you're going to do something bad, you might as well go all the way with it. At least that's my motto. And that's how I ended up with this:

Dude, get thee to a supermarket and buy this NOW! Hurry! Do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars! Phenomenal, unsurpassed deliciousness. If you don't try this ice cream...well, I just feel sorry for you. You are going to hell because it is a sin to miss out on it. A MORTAL sin! So is eating it, but you can confess later.

In closing, I would like to say that I had intended to try my hand at a "Pioneer Woman Cooks!" type of post with step-by-step instructions and pics, but I figured bacon fat + fancy digital camera= nightmarish accident waiting to happen. Also, I am lazy. This fact is totally backed up by the fact that Southern Food Night happened on Sunday, and I am only now posting this...on Tuesday night. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I have some episodes of Good Times on Tivo I can watch, which will allow me to ignore the dirty laundry and bathrooms and revel in my laziness.

(P.S. Is it just me, or is it really, really apparent that there is absolutely nothing going on when I have to resort to posting about my food obsessions? Hmmmmm.)